Hey there! It’s already Friday and I feel like the White Rabbit is stamping his little paw at me and checking his watch. Oh, yes, I’m very late indeed! (I have a good excuse, really I do, but more on that later)
I’ve made me some nice Earl Grey, so let’s get to this…
America’s Got Talent
It’s the semi-finals and only 10 acts are left. As a special treat, the judges hung out with the acts at their hotel and it was fun to see them more casual and mingling with the lesser folk. Even meany pants Piers smiled a few times. Incredible! Although, that stinky Piers tried to set up Anna Graceman with one of his sons, um, excuse me Piers, but she’s already promised to MY boy. The nerve!
After schmoozing and boozing, we got treated to a performance by last season’s winner, Michael Grimm. I have to admit, he was my favorite the whole season, as well as Prince Poppycock. It was great to see him more professional and with a back up band. I love his voice… ah, so sexy.
Sorry, back to the show. Wait! Did I just see dancing hamsters and robots? Oh, yes, that was the Kia commercial. I actually rewound the DVR just to watch it again. So random. So funny!
Up first, Miami All Stars. Um, what’s with the chicken dancing? We went from hamsters to chickens and I’m confused. They were great, but the judges and I agree they picked a strange theme (football players, cheerleaders, and the chicken mascot). I want salsa and sexy, not high school. Still, I didn’t know women’s bodies could move like that! Incredible dancing.
Lys Agnes. I don’t know how I feel about her. Each show she talks about how sad she’s been and how music helps her. Okay, I get that, but move on! Her song was bizarre. She sang Dream On while floating in a huge dreamcatcher. Her voice went from deep down low to super high. I didn’t like it. Neither did Sharon or Howie, but meany pants did.
Landon, my sweet Landon Swank. His act was slow at first, but then when you see what he’s doing you’re like, what? He just pulled a fish out of his mouth? Wait! He put it through a glass wall into the aquarium? How did he do that? The judges liked it and so did I.
Anna Graceman sang True Colors and I liked it, but wasn’t blown away by it. And her dress? It looked like someone went crazy with a roll of toilet paper. No, seriously. She’s usually super cute, but this time she was stilted. Once again, the judges agree with me. What’s going on here? Usually they hate my opinions.
Silhouettes had a cute piece about how some of the dancers are struggling with physical issues and it made me cry. To see them dance so beautifully you’d never guess they had chronic diseases. Sharon actually thanked them for giving us such beauty week after week. Yes, exactly. Meany pants called them the best performance of the night.
Smage Bros came out and rode motorcycles all around the stage, but it lacked the energy they had last week with Rad Grandma Smage. And poor Troy Smalls! He’s the guy they jump their bikes over and, well, let’s just say he lost a few brain cells and some skin off his leg tonight. Ouch! I did like it when he opened root beer bottles with the spinning wheels of the bike. Pretty cool.
Poplyfe took my breath away. This band rocks. Period. They have it all, stage presence, showmanship, the chops to sing greats like they did last week and tonight. They took on the Jackson 5! Oh, yes they did! And they rocked the house. I can’t wait for them to have an album because I’m buying it.
West Springfield Dance Team. Yawn. Seen it. Been there, bought the t-shirt, ready to go home. Piers buzzed them and for once, I’m not calling him meany pants because he was right to. They keep doing the same act each week. Yeah, okay, we get that you’re ‘horror’, but the same moves, the same whatever… step it up! Show us some versatility!!
Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. I swear to the White Rabbit, if you sing Sinatra again I’m going to slap you. Wait, what’s this? He’s singing Dean Martin? Well, okay then. Not! It’s the same frigging type of music. Show me some range. I’d love to see him take on Adele or Lady Gaga and make it his own with his sweet crooner voice. If I want to hear Dean or Sinatra, I’ll listen to the originals. Jus’ sayin. Dang, the judges love, love, love him. I’m outvoted.
Last up is Team iLuminate. Wow. They are so incredible, I’d buy a ticket to see them. Each week they do something different and I like that. My favorite was a few weeks ago when they performed a video game. That was awesome. Tonight they were just as fabulous and once again the judges are with me.
First up: Smage Bros and Team iLuminate. This is a no-brainer. Yep, it’s Team iLuminate moving on!
Next: Miami All Stars and Lys Agnes. I told my son, I bet neither of them and I was right. They both got booted.
Third up is Poplyfe and my sweet Landon Swank. No, this can’t be happening! I love them both, but only one can go through. It’s Poplyfe moving on to the finals, but Sharon tells them, whoever is going home, this isn’t the end, but the beginning of their career. I truly hope so. I’d love to see Landon in a full show. He’s brilliant.
Then we have West Springfield Dance Team and Silhouettes. Hmmm, it better not be neither of them and I hope it’s Silhouettes, but that would only leave one place and two great singers are left. It’s Silhouettes moving on. Yay? Because that means…
It comes down to Landau Eugene Murphy Jr and Anna Graceman. They are both incredible, but only one spot is left. Last week Nick messed with Landau and so I know they won’t do that this week, but ??? Dang, sweet Anna is going home. Landau moves on to the finals. He is so gracious, he felt bad for the kids that didn’t make it. They all call him Uncle Dooney. Isnt’ that sweet? I kinda like him more now.
Did I mention we saw Howie Mandel naked? Yeah, my eyes are forever burned for the experience.
Next week I’ll have your winners! Check back.
Top Chef Just Desserts
This episode was bizarre. Not for the food, but because the guest judge is one of the housewives from Beverly Hills. One of the only reality shows I can’t watch because it gives me a nervous tick.
The other guest judge is Huge Acheson. If you watched Top Chef Masters, you know how funny this guy is. I’m super excited to see him on the show. Some of the cheftestants? Not so much. Orlando whined about it. Big surprise.
The chefs had to make these teeny tiny little desserts for the husband of the BH housewife. I don’t remember his name, oops. His little dog, Jiggy was cute, though.
The winner of the challenge won $25,000 and would be in the race to have their dessert made into chewing gum. Kind of bizarre, but whatever.
Of course chipmunk Craig wins with his little pancake with strawberries. Why can’t this guy just go home already? He bugs.
Wait? What’s this? A bromance is brewing between Chris and Matthew. Right on! They are two cuties and if they’ll get more air time for their bromance, I’m all for it.
The Elimination Challenge will be a team challenge and you know what that means. DRAMA! And they did not disappoint. Orlando, of course, whined about it.
Melissa is just plain pissed that she got picked last – again. Hey, maybe if you change your attitude and start being nice to people, they’ll pick you first. Just a suggestion.
So the teams make desserts and put together a pretty tablescape made mostly of pink, since that’s Lisa Vanderpump’s favorite color. Hey! I wrote down her name this time. Yay me. Lisa and some of her BH friends check out the tables and sample everyone’s desserts. I so wish I could be a judge for this show. They all looked yummy and simply scrumptious.
I’m not going to lie, when the chefs describe their food, I have no idea what they’re saying. Gelees and glaces, foams and what? I’d be like, it’s good, just eat it. You don’t need to know what’s in it. And I’d probably be sent home first. Ah, well.
The judges thought Craig’s team’s table was prettier, but Chris’ team’s table was more refined. Wait a minute, they keep saying Chris’ team, but really it was Amanda’s team. Oops.
Chris/Amanda’s team wins the challenge. Hooray! Now maybe Craig will go home. Or whiney Orlando.
What? the judges sent home Nelson? Who’s Nelson? Is he even on the show? I guess so because they sent him packing, but not before telling Craig he was damn lucky to have immunity or he’d be sent packing. Stupid immunity.
Sorry kids, I don’t have an update for PR this week because we lost power for most of the day and night here in San Diego. Apparently the DVR won’t record by osmosis, so I have to wait to watch the episode. I did see who got Auf’d, but I’m not telling!
Here are a few Honorable Mentions I caught last weekend:
Millionaire Matchmaker. That Patti is hilarious! She just says what she wants (which is usually what everyone else is thinking, but has the manners not to say). She scares me. I’ll only watch this show again if there’s nothing, and I mean nothing else on. I’d rather watch Hillbilly Handfishin’ before this.
Big Sexy. Five young women of larger proportions are trying to make their mark in New York City. Good for them! I liked the show, but thought the girls were hypocritical in their stance that they like being big, but then would whine that men don’t love them because they’re big. One girl’s ex boyfriend told her no, it’s because you’re a stalker. Loved that! If the show happens to be on, then I might catch it. But, Meh.
All American Handyman. I’m a sucker for a show that challenges it’s competitors to be amazing. This show did not disappoint. On the first challenge, Mike Holmes (Love him!) tells the contestants to make something with a sheet of plywood. I’m still trying to think of what I’d make and it’s been a week. They had two hours and some of the stuff they made was incredible. I’m definitely going to check out this show again.
The Great Food Truck Race stressed me out. I mean, they drive all over the US making food in these tight quarters and have to outsell their competitors. You’d like I would love this show, but I need a drink beforehand to keep me calm. I’ll watch it if it’s on, but I won’t seek it out.
My friend told me to check out Dance Moms, so I’ll give that show a shot. Next week America’s Next Top Model starts and I’m super excited for that! I’ll also be DVR’ing Dancing With the Stars because it looks like it will be feisty this season.
Thanks for getting through this beast of a post. Let me know what shows you’re watching this week and if there are any I need to check out. I’m always on the prowl for new guilty pleasures!