Trashy TV Recap ~ TCJD, ANTM, Project Runway, & more.

This week was crazy! Not just in Trashy TV Land, but life in general. Still, my life is no where near as nuts a those women on the Real Housewives shows.

I happened to catch a New Jersey episode and daaaaaang, those women are fiesty! They scare me more than Patti Stangler.

Know who else is fiesty? Robert Irvine. He used to be on Dinner: Impossible, now he’s got a show called Restaurant: Impossible where he has two days to turn a restaurant around. Menu, decor, staff, everything. It’s a cool show – if you like to be stressed out! Robert yells at people. A lot. In the end, the restaurant turns out great and everyone is happy. I want to see a show where they revisit these places. Do the owners keep all his ideas? Hmmm.

Speaking of revisiting failing businesses, I checked out Tabatha’s Salon Takeover. It was the episode where she goes back to several salons to see if they are behaving themselves. Most of them were, but some had gone back to their old ways. Poor Tabatha almost had to take the keys yet again. After promises to change, she left them alone. For now.

I think we should have a showdown of Tabatha, Michael Kors, and Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker to see who has the crazier quotes. Honestly, I don’t know who would win!

This week on Top Chef Just Desserts, Jordan Kahn was the guest judge for the quickfire elimination. Now, usually the QF judge sticks around, but they booted him quicker than you could say ‘pastry’. He’s a cutie, so he gets his pic here:

Now, why couldn’t they keep him around? Oh, well, at least we still have Johnny.

Back to the QF.

Can you hear the whining from the chefs? Yeah, they weren’t happy that the QF was to create a savory dessert with a root vegetable. Apparently Mr. Kahn is quite skilled at working savory into his desserts and the chefs had to please him.

Have I mentioned that Rebekah is an idiot? Yeah, she is. While Jordan is tasting her potato dessert thing, she tells Jordan and Gail that she can’t cook. Um, you’re on a cooking show, dummy! Gail pretty much told her that was the stupidest thing to say on national TV. You think?

Sally wins the QF with a turmeric dish. Yay! I like Sally. She can cook.

For the elimination challenge, the guest judge will be – – – Ad Rock from the Beastie Boys! Ah, he’s still super cute. Not as cute as Jordan or Johnny, but enough that he gets a pic.

The cheftestants have to make a dessert from the Beastie Boys pantry. Um, ewww. The ingredients are things like ravioli, pork and beans, brass monkey (that funky monkey), etc.

I seriously worry for the chefs on this challenge. And the judges who have to eat the creations. This is probably the one time I’m happy I’m not a judge.

Sabotage!

The chefs have to give one item to another chef – oh, now this is going to be interesting. The initial ingredients were pretty bad, but to have someone give you something you didn’t choose? Poor chefs!

I love it when they show the chefs at home relaxing and this week we are treated to a sweet moment where Chris tells us about his little baby girl. She’s only a month old and was born with congenital heart defect. She’s adorable and now I want him to win more than I did before! Yeah, okay, now they have to show us Matt’s kid, who is super cute, but Chris had me at heart defect.

Back to the show. At the brewery where the chefs will serve their monstrosities, I mean desserts, Marcel shows up. I love Marcel. Loved him in his season and on All Stars. He is a good friend of Sally’s and went to give her support. And to taste the other desserts and get a banana put on his shoulder. Apparently there’s a game where they put a banana on someone to see if they notice. Marcel did not notice. The big prize is to banana Johnny, but so far no one’s been able to. Because Johnny’s awesome, that’s why!

At the Judge’s Table, Katsie, Rebekah, and Megan are called in first. Naturally everyone assumes they are the winners, but NO! They are the losers. Whew! I almost had to turn off the TV.

The top three are: Matthew, Chris, and Sally. Yay! My three favorites are where they belong.

Matthew wins because he, as Ad Rock says, ‘Freaked it’ on the foam gravy. You read that right – Matthew had to put gravy in his dessert and he foamed it, making it delicious. Um, I’ll take their word for it. Ew.

Rebekah goes home, but not before making an a$$ of herself with Ad Rock. Whatever, she’s gone. Yay!

Next week is going to be intense. Orlando and Chris go head-to-head with chocolate sculptures. There’s a history between these two and I’ll share it all with you next week.

America’s Next Top Model, or perhaps we should rename the show, America’s Next Train Wreck. Seriously, didn’t these girls learn anything the first time around?

Kristin Cavallari visits the house to, um, I’m not quite sure. She gives them advice on how to make a career out of their reality TV stint. Am I living in a cave? Who is Kristin Cavallari? Maybe I should ask my 12 year-old niece, she might know.

The girls have a team challenge where they have an interview with Mario Lopez. Here’s the deal – whatever team wins will have immunity. The entire team. Whoa, that’s huge!

Team 1 – Angelea, Lisa, Alexandria, Isis, Laura, and Dominique are up first. Lisa is a spaz and keeps high-fiving people. Stop it! Then she totally talks over Alexandria. Not good.

Team 2 – Shannon, Bre, Bianca, Kayla, Camille, and Allison are up next. Allison gives great answers and steals the show. She’s the overall winner and her team is safe from elimination.

The photo shoot challenge puts the girls on stilts. Hey! Can you hear the whining again? This time it’s Bre or maybe Bianca, I keep getting them confused. She has a huge fear of heights. Um, Bre/Bianca sweetie, you’re like, ten feet up and you have a harness to keep you from falling. Get over yourself. Kthxbai.

 

Some of the girls rock it – Lisa, Alexandria, Allison, but most are lackluster at best.

Allison wins the challenge because she had a great ‘booty tooch’. You read that right. Apparently, that girl knows how to pop out her booty in just the right way. I’m going to practice my booty tooch later. Oh, yes I am!

See that? How she just pops it out there?

And see how Angelea’s booty is kinda flat? Girl ain’t got no booty tooch!

Poor Isis fell flat this week and she went home. I love Isis, but she wasn’t one of my favorites to win. I don’t know if I have a favorite yet. Hmmm, I must ponder this awhile.

While I’m pondering, let’s check out Project Runway.

The challenge this week is to come up with a Sophisticated 70’s look. Um, isn’t that an oxymoron? I mean, seriously. I remember the 70’s. We really don’t need to go back there! How about 80’s? I could get behind an 80’s challenge!

Whatever. They want 70’s. You know Bert is going to rock this challenge. He was young and hip during that era.

The designers head off to Mood and poor Anya loses her money. I’m sure those producers know where it went, but no one found it. Only Anthony Ryan had money left over, so she had to make $11.50 work. Yikes!

Back in the workroom, Josh is having a hard time wrapping his head around the 70’s idea. His excuse? He wasn’t born in the 70’s so how would he know it? Um, research you dodo! Any designer worth their talent knows to research past fashions.

What does he do? Copies Viktor. Yeah, I know. What a sleazebag. All the love I started to feel for him last week is now gone.

Everyone is having a problem with this challenge and then Tim comes in to say they have to make another look. What! Off to Mood they go and this time Anya does not lose her money. Whew!

Laura can’t believe what Bert is making, but I kind of love it. He’s got this cool retro vibe going, but it’s sexy, too.

It’s the one on the left. The middle dress is his second look. Blah.

What do the judges think?

They all love Bert’s little dress! I officially know nothing about fashion. It looks like my cat could whip it up in an afternoon after a nap and a good hairball hacking.

Whatever.

They also love Viktor and Anya’s looks.

Why are the judges so in love with Anya? I thought her looks were okay, but nothing spectacular.

What do you think?

Heidi and Nina went nuts for the jumpsuit on the left. Huh?

I have pajamas cuter than that!

Now we know who they love, who do the judges not love so much?

Anthony Ryan, Joshua, and Laura all score low marks. Joshua gets a little pissy on the runway, arguing with the judges why his looks are amazing and other’s  aren’t so much.

That man has some huge huevos!

In the end, the judges are not impressed with him, but send home Anythony Ryan. Aww, he was one of my favorites. I just love his bright spirit and humor. I’ll miss Anthony Ryan.

So who won? Anya. Blech. She gets to have her pajamas, I mean jumpsuit produced and sold on Piperlime.com. Bert will also get his little dress made for Piperlime as well.

I totally would have bought that flowy shirtdress thing he made, but not that little slip of fabric. Oh, well.

What were your favorite fashions from the 70’s? Do you think designers should bring back old styles in new and sophisticated ways? Is there truly nothing new out there and recycling is just the way it is?

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9 thoughts on “Trashy TV Recap ~ TCJD, ANTM, Project Runway, & more.

  1. Okay, girlie, can I just say that Disco-Barbie piece Bert made was more 80s than 70s? Of course you loved it. I couldn’t figure out the bottom – why do you want to remove the “skirt” to reveal a pair of ill-fitting, too-revealing, black panties? I was supersurprised they didn’t also want to put one of Viktor’s outfits in their catalog – I thought both his looks were cute and polished and fit the challenge of “sophisticated 70’s.” I was ready for Josh to go home. Damn. Doesn’t it bug you that 1) only one of Anya’s looks got her the win, and 2) the only thing they kept talking about with Bert’s disco look was the top?

    Yes, I’m a child of the 70s. My favorite looks were the big bell bottoms with skinny tops. And platform shoes, must have platforms. Basically, anything Cher wore in the 70s, except the Indian getup, maybe. Too costumy. But definitely straight-straight hair, heavy eye make up and pale lips.

    • That’s why I loved it! I’m such an 80’s girl, as you know. I definitely wouldn’t wear it with those teensy little shorts. Even Bert thought they were too short.

      Viktor’s were nice, but so boring. Well-made, absolutely, but if he’d just used a pop of color maybe?

      I loved my go-go boots in the 70’s. I miss them. I was too young for platforms, but my sister wore them and I’d clomp around the house in them. They are fabulous!

      Too funny about Cher. I remember when she sang ‘Half Breed’ on their show and she sat on a horse the whole song. I can totally imagine you dressed up in the 70’s! Super straight hair? I thought you’d go more for the wavy/natural look. We’ll I just learned something new!

      I love it when you stop by, Gayle!

  2. I wouldn’t be able to watch TV until Sunday. I’m so happy you do this post every week. It gives me that fix I need from TV, and I love your own take on the shows. I agree that restaurant impossible should have an anniversary show. I want to know they make it a year from the time he fixes the restaurants.
    Can’t wait until next week!

    • Whoohoo! Happy to provide you with some entertainment.

      They did an episode of Restaurant: Impossible for a restaurant close to us – we’re going to eat there one of these days to see if they kept it up. How fun!

      See you here next week, Megan!

  3. Tameri, between your hilarious tv recaps and Jillian’s movie reviews, you ladies are keeping us all up to date! I don’t even feel like I need to watch the shows when I read your recaps … and you don’t have commercials! Bonus! Your writing style is so smooth and entertaining – blog on!

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