Hey guys and dolls,
This week I stumbled upon a marathon of Rachel Zoe and ooooh, let me tell you – I’m hooked! I spent a solid two hours watching her run around with her pregnant little self and now I can hardly wait for her son to be born. I know, I’m such a trashy TV slut. I’ll watch anything that sparkles. In my defense, I was sorting my son’s clothes during the show, so at least I got something done. By the way, when DO boys stop growing? I’m pretty sure I just donated two huge bags of clothes I bought only a few months ago. Yikes.
I was super excited for Tuesday because it was the premier of Mad Fashion! Well, it was okaaaay. I’m not in love yet, but I’m willing to go on a second date to see what he has to offer. Chris March is super fabulous, so he better not disappoint. We’ll see.
On America’s Next Top Model this week, the episode starts off with the girls getting mail from home. The girls get mail? That explains how they have new outfits all the time. I always wondered about that. Poor Camille only got bills. She’s 33 you know, and has responsibilities – like that means she can’t let loose and have fun? I’m 46 with loads of responsibilities, but if I was on a modeling show (hey, it can happen!) I’d be enjoying every minute of it, not stressing out about things back home.
Kayla had to go to the ER and it turns out, she had a mini heart attack! Even more reason to chill out and stop stressing about the small stuff. Yikes. I hope she’s fine and can continue on with the competition because I adore her.
The models had an acting challenge and Bianca decided all the other girls should just go home because she’s the complete package – actress, model, and um, whatever else they are supposed to be doing. Right. You keep telling yourself that, Ms. B.
Those poor girls had to memorize a script in 30 minutes and then act out a scene with some old dude from CSI. Some of the medical terminology tripped up everyone, except two girls and you won’t believe who.
The surprise of the day was Lisa. She stank. I mean, ewww, what’s that horrid acting stench? Not only that, but she dropped the F bomb about a million times. Angelea and Bre nailed their auditions and were the top two. Bre won the challenge, much to Angelea’s dismay and mine. I thought Angelea rocked it.
The photo shoot was for Express and each girl was given a ‘type’ to portray – Flirt, Socialite, Cool Chick, or Girlfriend. What’s that? Bianca thinks she’s above it all? Again, Bianca, really? Didn’t you learn from the acting challenge that you aren’t the only model on set. Um, clue phone, it’s for you!
Once again Lisa stunk it up. Jay thought she looked like an ice skater doing a double sow cow. Ouch. But she wasn’t the worst of the bunch. Camille was and she went home. About darn time!
Angelea won the challenge because she gave a feisty ‘socialite’ look that wasn’t commercial. Well done, Angelea.
Project Runway. Ah, my sweet PR, you snoozed me last week, but this week you woke me up! They paired up the designers and gave them a bird to be their inspiration.
Bert & Joshua got a parrot, Viktor & Kimberly a cockatoo, and Anya & Laura a raven. But wait, there’s more! They aren’t designing in teams, they are competing against their teammate. What? Oh, this will be good.
The winner of the challenge gets $20,000 and a spread in Marie Claire magazine. Awesome! They have to use a new line of make up by L’Oreal Paris that is based on the birds. I loooooove the color palettes and wish I could find a great picture to show them to you. Since I can’t, here’s Tim Gunn with his pal.
Bert hated this challenge. He found the parrot uninspiring and whined too much. Viktor, on the other hand, embraced the challenge and said he would make his gown, ‘Glamazing’. That just might be my new favorite word. After Fabulicious, that is.
Wait a minute! Tim Gunn visits the workroom and tells the designers they have to make a second look. Oh snap! Those designers are not happy about it at all. Off they go back to Mood. They didn’t really think they would get two days to make one outfit, did they? Silly designers!
Poor, poor Kimberly. She is NOT having a good day. Her outfit is crazy wild, she can’t think of what she wants for her second look, and then she sews through her finger. Ouch! Anya and Laura comfort her in the bathroom, which I think is pretty darn nice of them. This is a competition, after all.
Oh, scratch that. Anya knows perfectly well it’s a competition when Joshua asks to borrow some fabric. He only bought floaty stuff and he’s stumped for his second look. Anya decides she can’t share fabric this late in the game. Really, Anya? Wasn’t it just last episode when you lost your money and everyone except Viktor gave you fabric? Karma baby, that’s all I can say. And I hope it shows up soon. Meow!
Tim Gunn visits the workroom again and the designers are leery of him, but he just gives critiques. Kimberly is still down, so he gives her a hug because that’s just the awesome kind of guy he is. I heart Tim Gunn.
Ooops, I spoke too soon. Tim tells the designers that only one of their looks will walk the runway. Oh, are they pissed!
Of course, Kimberly is thrilled. She puts together a stunning gown in three hours. Wow, that was one magical hug Tim gave her!
On the runway, the judges love Anya’s look (ugh, of course!), Joshua’s, and Kimberly’s. Whoa, Kimberly took down the all-powerful Viktor. That was worth the entire episode! I like Viktor, but he needed a little perspective. He just thinks he’s all that and a bag of buttons.
Anya wins. Yay. Whoohooo. Snore. Her dress was cute, but she had to sew her girl into the dress. I actually liked Laura’s look best, but the judges said it was too literal. Um, okay.
Anya’s on the right and Laura’s on the left. Which is your favorite?
It comes down to Laura and Bert for worst look. Thankfully, the judges send Bert home. It was way past time.
Top Chef Just Desserts. This is it! I saved TCJD for last because this week is so epic.
Orlando vs. Chris.
Here’s a little bit of history for you, my sweet readers – Orlando and Chris were in a competition together for Food Network. They got to go on a Caribbean cruise! You can watch the episode here. Neither of them won, but Chris came in second and Orlando third, so you know those two are gunning for each other.
Which is perfect because this week’s elimination challenge is a chocolate showpiece. But wait! First we have a quick fire challenge.
What’s Johnny doing here? Oh, no, it’s an elimination challenge. The cheftestants have to create a perfect donut – for the winner? $10,000. For the loser? A trip home. That better be one fine donut!
Full disclosure here: in the trailers, they say that Orlando ‘takes on Johnny’ or something silly like that which makes me think Orlando gets the boot and he argues with Johnny over it. Um, not so lucky today folks. All the hubbub is over a spice. Orlando says he made a spice donut and Johnny says he can’t taste the cardamom. What a let down! I thought there would be a knock down drag’em out fight. Nope. Just a lack of spice.
Carlos wins the QF and Megan goes home. Not a big surprise since her donut basically stuck to the plate. It did, really. Her caramel set and they had to pry the donut off. It was great.
On to the chocolate challenge! The teams (Orlando, Carlos, & Sally) (Chris, Matt, & Katsie) have to make a showpiece and a chocolate dessert. The chefs will get to taste the other teams desserts and sit at the table with the judges. Oh. My. Heck. That is going to be awesome!
Of course, Chris takes on his team’s showpiece and Orlando the other team’s. Orlando lets Sally & Carlos make most of his dessert while he focuses on the the showpiece. That could be a disaster, but he’s hell bent on beating Chris. Ego much, Orlando? Hey, at least he isn’t whining. Yet.
Both teams make a decent showpiece, but the real fun is judging. Orlando can’t shut his mouth! He just bashes and bashes everyone’s dessert. Especially Katsie. There is NO love lost between him and Katsie. I’m actually starting to feel bad for her. The camera does this great pan of all the judges and other chefs looking mildly bored/horrified that Orlando won’t shut up. Yikes. I wish Bravo let me use their pictures, but they won’t. Stingy meanie pants. You can see the picture of the bored judges here.
The other team is pretty nice in their reviews. Chris, of course, is the most vocal, but not nearly as bad as Orlando.
Ok, whatever, Orlando’s team wins. Yay. Whooohoooo. Dang it! I really like Sally, but Orlando bugs and Carlos is boring. He’s a nice guy, just boring.
So it’s down to Chris, Matt, or Katsie going home.
Katsie made a giant sweet mess that sends her packing.
I have a feeling the final will come down to Chris, Orlando, and Sally. That would be an amazing match up, but we still have two weeks to go until then. I can’t wait!
That’s it for this week. What have you been sneaking into your day when no one is around? A little Cupcake Wars? Maybe some Toddlers and Tiaras? You know you love Trashy TV!