Here We Go ~ Trashy TV Recap!

So this week I had a little surprise waiting for me in my DVR inbox.

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team

Oh, yeah! I stumbled upon this show in the first season and fell in love. I don’t know why. I was sort of a cheerleader in 7th grade, I don’t dance, and I’m not much of a football fan, but I love, love, love watching this series. It’s on CMT (that’s the country music channel, which makes me wonder how the heck I ever stumbled upon the show to begin with! Must’ve been a really slooooooow day), Thursdays at 10pm.

This week two of my shows ended, which makes me wonder what I’m going to replace them with. I suppose it’ll have to be the cheerleaders, but I don’t know. Got any suggestions?

Top Chef: Just Desserts

This was the first show this week to have their finale. My friend, humor writer Gayle Carline had this to say on facebook:

“Gayle Carline is watching Top Chef Just Desserts. No one is failing or fighting or bursting into flame. As a matter of fact, it’s kind of a boring episode for the finale.”

Um, yeah. The chefs had to make a showpiece, some bread, an entremets (that’s a fancy word for … cake), and a bon bon. Are you thinking the same thing I am? *cue the music and let’s all sway our hips to Ricky Martin’s ‘Shake your bon bons’. Ooooh, yeah, I hummed this song for the rest of the episode. Much to my son’s dismay. Apparently he does not appreciate the finer points of music. Whatever.

Back to the show! I forgot to mention that these really big deal pastry chefs got to help the finalists. They’re all MOF’s, which doesn’t stand for what I thought it did. It mean’s they’re really, really good at what they do. All the chefs were peeing their pants over the MOF’s. (yeah, it makes me giggle a little bit, too. Shake your bon bon while saying MOF!) See Gayle? We make our own excitement here at Etherton House.

Guess what?! All the chefs get to choose TWO former contestants to help them as sous chefs. Oooooh, I wonder if anyone will pick the squirrel disguised as a human – Craig.

Naw, he didn’t get picked, but Sally totally won the sous chef jackpot with Orlando. Guess what he excels at? Show pieces! Guess what Sally sucks at? Show pieces! It’s almost like that was planned…

So, the chefs get to it, making dessert and trying not to freak out. Orlando basically makes Sally’s entire show piece and I’m thinking that’s not such a good idea. Matthew wants to push the limit and tries sugar work. For the first time in his career. Um, are you delirious? Stick to what you know!

Chris makes an amazing show piece – all by himself. Orlando, newly reformed and now sweet as pie, he admits that he didn’t want to work with anyone, but realized he had to ‘man up’ (his words) and help. He lost his chance at the title, so he had to do the right thing. Awww. Sniff, sniff. I love Orlando. Sort of.

Judging!

There are, like, a hundred judges for this challenge so I won’t name them all. They are big names in the industry, that’s all you really need to know. Actually, you don’t even need to know that. What you do need to know is that all of the show pieces look amazing and if I had to eat all those desserts there would be nothing left on all those tables. It might cost me one hundred marbles, but they looked so good!

Everyone rocked it. The judges have a hard time picking each dessert apart and critiquing such amazing work.

Chris wins! Yay! Confetti, balloons, champagne! I’m totally psyched he won. He had the mad pastry skillz and the best show piece. Yay!

America’s Next Top Model

Ok Gayle, you want fireworks and drama? Watch ANTM! Whew, these girls just get more and more crazy and the week’s go on.

Of course the show starts with Lisa missing Bre and dissing Bianca. Then, Alexandria and Bianca get into a fight over the shower. What? Grow up, ladies!

Last week Jay told Shannon she needs to be ‘edgy’ and, of course, Shannon thinks that means raunchy. Um, no. It means edgy.

The girls go to the rooftop of the Roosevelt Hotel, an iconic place in Hollywood (I’ve been in the hotel, never on the roof. Darn). Their challenge is to come up with a fragrance and then they’ll have to promote it to their fans. What this has to do with modeling, not really sure, but let’s just go with it.

The girls take their time (Alexandria a little too much time) and pick 3 fragrances to blend into their ‘signature’ scent. Allison calls hers, ‘Honey Blood’. Now, I ask you my beloved readers, would you wear a perfume called Honey Blood?

So, in keeping with her, I’m such a sweet, innocent, girl routine, Shannon wants her perfume to be, angelic, pure, and smitten. Huh? I thought smitten was when you were kind of lusting after someone.

Lisa had the best quote of the night, “I don’t know what Shannon is selling, but I know she’s selling herself short.” Okay, Lisa isn’t my favorite, but at least she’s honest.

SO. The girls have to get into a bathtub (with water and rose petals), to sell their fragrance to their fans. Bianca is having none of that. She says Tyra would never get into a tub, that she wants to be treated like a professional, she’s a lady and wants respect.

Um, you’re on a Reality TV show. For the second time. You sort of checked ‘respect’ off the list before you showed up. Seriously.

Not only that, but Tyra is the one who probably thought of the tub and you should probably get in it.  Nope. Bianca isn’t listening to me and my fabulous advice. She refuses to get into the tub. Heck, even Nigel got in the tub!

At judging Bianca is all ready to defend her position and says that Beyonce (just pretend there’s an accent over the e, I can’t figure out how to do it) or Rhianna would never do something like that and Tyra tells her, but you’re not Beyonce. Take that Bianca!

What else did Tyra tell her? Get in the dang tub! Love Tyra.

Wait, back to the challenge. Lisa wins the perfume challenge.

The girls have to do a photo shoot on a Harley while portraying either Nene or Snooki.

Shannon only has one pose, Bianca makes love to a pickle (well, it looked a bit strange) and Alexandria looked a bit wooden.

Lisa won the photo shoot challenge. She’s on fire this week!

Two girls go home – Bianca (no surprise there!) and Kayla. Aww, I love Kayla. Shannon was on the chopping block, but she got to stay. Dang it.

I would post pictures, but the CW site is messed up today. Sorry about that.

Project Runway

Arrgh! What’s up with all the websites today? Now PR isn’t letting me have pictures either. Well, you’re just going to have to imagine what I’m talking about and then go check out the websites for photos. Again, sorry.

The show starts with Tim giving each designer $500 and 30 minutes at Mood. Anya totally changes her looks while she’s at Mood. Procrastinate much?

Josh also gets new fabric. A gorgeous bright green colored something that he makes shorts out of, but I think they look like slime panties. With ties over the thigh. Yikes.

Viktor also changes things up and ditches the gorgeous flowy dress the judges loved last week. Why, Viktor, why??? For the love of Pete and all that is good in cheese, why?

Kimberly only makes a few changes, and tweaks. Good call.

Poor Josh, he’s all over the place. Viktor gives him a pep talk, Anya gives him a pep talk, I’m sure the mannequins gave him a pep talk. Pull it together, man! You’ve got a runway show to put on.

Now, I like Anya as a person, but I’m bored by her fashion. What I’m also bored with is her penchant for showing her boobies. Really. Every outfit she wears is open at the chest and flows down to her navel. I don’t even know if she owns a bra. Yes, she has very nice boobies, but really, I don’t need to see them all the time.

Runway day!

Kimberly’s line is sparkly and colorful. Like a Barbie doll’s closet.

Joshua’s line is very colorful, too. More like gay Ken doll’s closet.

Viktor’s line is sophisticated and yet edgy. Shannon needs to check out Viktor to understand edgy does not mean raunchy.

Anya’s line is very flowy with lots and lots of boobies almost showing. Big surprise there. It looks like Anya made a closet full of clothes for herself. 8 of the 10 dresses have plunging necklines. We’re talking straight down to the, well, you know where I mean.

Judging!

Kimberly listened to all the critiques and grew as a designer. Her looks were urban cool. Michael Kors thought she had great clothes, but not a great collection. Nina thinks she is ‘almost there’, but not ready yet to be an independent designer.

Joshua was focused with gorgeous tailoring, fun prints and the best styling. He has loads of ideas and is probably ready for the big time.

Viktor got a little lost with too much of the black sheer looks. He should’ve stayed with the super cool prints he made (um, like the dress he ditched at the last minute).

Anya needs more variety and to think of other women when designing. She’s a little one note, but has taste and style.

So who wins?

Anya. Ugh. I don’t think the judges got it right this time either. Bummer.

Well, there you have it. This week’s recap in a minute. ; )

I need new shows, tell me what you want to read about or I might have to start watching ‘Call of the Wildman’.

Check out the video and you’ll know why I shudder to think you’d do that to me!

http://animal.discovery.com/tv/call-of-the-wildman/

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “Here We Go ~ Trashy TV Recap!

  1. “For the love of Pete and all that is good in cheese, why?” LOL that line had me spitting my tea! Tameri, you are too funny! I look forward to these recaps every week. It’s a highlight of my Friday 🙂

    • Why, thank you Ruth! But, true confessions time… I sort of swiped that saying from Myndi Shafer ~ I changed it slightly, but it’s still hers.

      Glad I can bring a smile to your face with these little recaps!

  2. Oh, my goodness, I am so humbled to have a front row seat at your Friday melee! I’ve seen Next Top Model a couple of times, but it always breaks a little piece of my soul each time I watch it. I mean, I know companies require models to sell their stuff, but when your entire world revolves around how you look, I dunno, it sounds sad. Although I probably would like to see the rooftop gig – weren’t they afraid that one stiff wind would blow those skinny chicks away?

    Project Runway, what are we going to do with you? Last season we had that Mondo fiasco (he was robbed! Robbed!) and this season I’m afraid we don’t have ANYONE who absolutely SHOULD HAVE won. I hated those green Josh shorts – when I saw them on the website, I thought she was wearing an upside-down bikini top tied to her hips. Heidi was right about Viktor’s split runway personality. Anya has a great eye for form and cut and draping, and I do see her looks as being cohesive and specific to a type of woman, but is she truly “ready” for her own line? Actually, Kim came the closest, for me, to a more total design. I mean, I get what she’s about, and I do think no one else represents that segment of the fashion world.

    Did you tune in to Project Accessory? It was okay. There were a couple of people I liked. The set is weird – almost the antithesus of the Project Runway, in terms of lighting and color. The fun part of the challenges is going to be that it’s about accessories, but some of the contestants only do bags and some only do jewelry or hats. I see problems, lots of problems.

    I’m geared up for The Next Iron Chef America. So many of the contestants have been judges at other shows, I want to see how they do it!

    • You know, it was pretty windy up on that rooftop. They probably had the girls harnessed in or something.

      I haven’t watched Project Accessory yet. I just keep thinking, what can they make? I did catch a few episodes of the new art show on Bravo, but there was too much crying.

      I forgot about The Next Iron Chef! Which is weird, because I have it queued up in my DVR to record. Apparently at some point I was lucid enough to think to do that. It starts Sunday night, so there’s one spot filled!

  3. I LOVE LOVE LOVE when you write:

    Last week Jay told Shannon she needs to be ‘edgy’ and, of course, Shannon thinks that means raunchy. Um, no. It means edgy.
    AND….
    Um, you’re on a Reality TV show. For the second time. You sort of checked ‘respect’ off the list before you showed up. Seriously.

    WAHAHAHAHA! Girl…I live for these line-ups…UBERLICIOUS!

    Have a FAB weekend – you just kicked mine off RIGHT! 🙂

    • Aw, thanks Natalie! I just wonder what these people are thinking sometimes. On this one show – Halloween Wars, this one woman got really upset and ran off stage. Well, the cameras followed her, of course, and she starts freaking out that the cameras were there. What exactly did they think they signed up for?

      Have a super duper uber fantastic weekend!

  4. Oh Tameri! I don’t even watch these shows and you had me laughing all the way through your recap. I suspect it was even more entertaining than the actual episodes. Your writing is wonderful, your descriptions so delightfully colorful. Loved stopping in for this week’s Trashy TV Recap! 😀

  5. Hi Tameri…
    I thought Josh and Viktor had impeccable tailoring skills. Anya used a lot of great prints, but I felt all of her stuff looked the same. Her final collection was full of flowy dresses, nothing fitted, nothing with any difficulty level. You’d think the judges would take construction, ABILITY TO SEW, and tailoring into consideration. She shouldn’t have won.

    Gosh, I feel better!

    • I am right there with you, Jennifer! I thought last season was a fluke, but I guess the judges are just losing it. They always talk about impeccable tailoring, but then don’t reward the impeccable tailors. Anya also won fan favorite and I have to wonder if that plays into their decision at all. I hope not, but who knows???

      Thanks for swinging by and getting that off your conscience! I sure feel better, too.

  6. Tameri, I can’t give you any suggestions for new reality shows to watch because I don’t watch them. I don’t have to because I read your trashy recaps and don’t need to know anything else. I love the way you write about these shows and how you make me laugh. Out. Loud. Every single time. You could probably just make up some shows and I would be entertained!!! Seriously!

I'd love to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s