Trashy TV in a Flash!

You know what? I’m in Vegas today, so this post is going to be super sweet and short. At least I hope it is.

This week on Mad Fashion Chris made an amazing Marie Antoinette outfit for this cute lady who owned a tea shoppe. Since owning my own tea shoppe is on my bucket list, you know I loved this one! They actually made a huge headpiece with a cup of tea in it! Riot and a half. Geez, Chris really is the gay MacGyver of fashion!

Okay, Bravo is super stingy with their pictures, so click here if you want to see the complete outfit. It will blow your mind. Just remember to come back and check out the rest of the recap!

The Next Iron Chef Super Chefs took the contestants to the Orpheum Theater in Los Angeles. I’ve been to this theater and it’s magnificent. All old fashioned with balconies and plush seats. Ah, a dream. Oh, yeah, the show!

The Chairman’s Challenge is for the chefs to make two dishes ~ one sweet and one savory with candy you can find at movie theaters. Since Alex won last week, she got to pick her candy and hand out the rest to the chefs. Yikes. I wouldn’t want to get stuck with sour gummies.

Back in the kitchen, the chefs had 60 minutes to make their dishes. That really isn’t much time when you think about it. These chefs use a gazillion ingredients and have to chop, saute, braise, whatever to get their dish done.

And holy (milk) balls! They’re minds are amazing. The dishes they come up with?

This is Chef Falkner’s dish. She had malted milk balls, people. Milk balls! Those are disgusting things and I don’t know why they were ever invented, but LOOK at what she did with them. She made fish and chips and some cakey dessert thing that the judges loved. Yeah, she won the challenge and good for her! Milk balls!

I learned a new word in this episode ~ Agrodulce. It’s Italian for a sweet and sour sauce. That’s right, you can go ahead and use it the next time you make spaghetti with sweet and sour pasta sauce. You’ll sound so international! I’m totally going to use it, too. We rock!

The two chefs in the bottom are Chef Hughes and Chef MacMillan. Of all the chefs, these are the two I know the least about, so it was MEH on my part for the elimination challenge. Their ingredient: tofu.

Okay, now I’m intrigued. I didn’t know you could make tofu interesting, but these two guys did! Chef MacMillan made tofu three ways (I know! There are more than three ways to make tofu? Who knew?!) Chef Hughes played it safe and went with a deep fried tofu thing with dipping sauce. The judges loved it, so who am I to want to vomit in my morning cup of tea?

But they didn’t love it more than Chef MacMillan’s three way tofu. Buh-Bye Chef Hughes.

The competition is getting tough. One teeny tiny mistake can send you packing.

Okay, so this week Knights of Mayhem started and as I promised last week, I got our channels upgraded so I can watch it.

I’m not so sure I’m going to love it. These buff and burly men are more whiney than those models on ANTM! Seriously, they whine and complain about each other, swear that they keep it professional on the lists and then go out and try to kill each other because they’re pissed at what so and so said about them. What?

This is not the show I thought I’d get to watch.

When they said, ‘Full contact heavy armor jousting’ I thought Yes! This is going to be great. But then it got all soap operaish and full of ego. Basically it comes down to these two guys – Charlie and Patrick. Patrick used to be the best and he trained Charlie. Now Charlie’s the best and he’ll beat up anyone who disagrees. Whoa! Simmer down there Charlie. You do realize you’re riding a horse and hitting guys with sticks, right?


It must be a guy thing. I love jousting, but I don’t get the testosterone chest thumping thing.

I’m going to give the show a few more views, but right now I’m on the fence. If there was more about jousting and less mean girl stuff, then it would rock. It would totally rock if more of the knights looked like Orlando Bloom, too.

Yes please and thank you.

Speaking of mean girls, this week on America’s Next Top Model the girls had to judge each other and when they tried to tell Angelea about her flaws, she freaked out. Too bad because the critique was actually positive and they were trying to help her, but she saw it as an attack.

I suppose when you go looking for an attack, you’ll find one.

Later the girls went on a boat ride and out drinking with some Greek lady. I’m not really sure what that was all about, but it looked fun.

The photo challenge this week was super cool. The girls had to be ancient Olympians with high fashion accessories. They all looked so gorgeous!

Nigel was the photographer and the girls were nervous since he’s also a judge. He’s so sweet and waaaay yummy. I might have a little crush on him.

Laura totally rocked the photo shoot so when it came to judging, it was no surprise she won. I mean, look at this gorgeous pic of her!

Okay, I confess, Laura is my favorite. She’s so sweet and fun. She doesn’t pander to drama and she’s hilarious in a ‘Yeah, I’m a country girl and we eat rodents’ kind of way.

The bottom two this week were Angelea and Dominique. Dominique went home, which is kind of ironic since in her cycle she went home on the photo shoot that Nigel shot. Hmmm.

We’re down to four girls. This is getting exciting!

On Top Chef Dallas the cheftestants were met with Padma and snakes. Yep, you read that right. Snakes. Um, ewwwww!

My favorite line of the week:

When I think snake I think beer

Awesome! That was from Dakota, who by the way, won the Quickfire Challenge with her beer battered deep fried snake. Even battered and fried, I think, Eww.

The Elimination Challenge was sweet this week. The chefs were split into two teams and had to cater a quinceanera. Team challenges are always a riot because these chefs have huge egos and don’t like to share their sandbox.

Well, this challenge was no different.

Keith made a huge error when he bought precooked shrimp for another chef. Wait! He what? Oh, yeah this is a cooking show and he bought precooked shrimp. Smart move. Not!

That totally came back to bite him. Kind of like a snake with fangs. Haha, see what I did there? I looped it back to… oh, nevermind.

Whatever team Keith was on lost. I think it was pink, but it doesn’t really matter. The other team worked together and even though their cake was lopsided, it was still better tasting than the other teams.

Guess who went home this week? Yep, Keith. It wasn’t really surprising since he made an enchilada that the judges thought was a burrito and still didn’t like annnnd there was that whole shrimp fiasco.

But wait! Since Keith got booted, he had to go battle it out with the chef that won the online challenge last week. I have no idea what his name is, but it doesn’t matter. Keith won that mini-challenge so he’s actually still in the game. This is sort of like Redemption Island for the chefs. You win in the online cookoff thing and you have a chance to reenter the game at some point. Except on Top Chef, the other chefs don’t know about that part of the show. Won’t they be surprised when someone comes back? Mwuahahahahaha! That’s going to be super fun to watch.

Well, the recap wasn’t as short as I’d hoped, but there you are. All caught up on the shows and now I can relax in the lazy river. Oh, yeah. You know I love me some lazy river action.

Until next week, keep it real!


11 thoughts on “Trashy TV in a Flash!

    • I know, right? Angelea would be unstoppable if she had Laura’s confidence! I think the final two will be those two girls and I can’t wait. It would be super tall girl vs shorty short girl.

      We’re having a great time in Vegas! I met Jillian last night and we had a blast. She’s a total crack up and so is her daughter.

  1. Beer battered deep fried snake??? NO thanks! As usual, I laughed my way through this post. If you talk like this in real life Tameri, I’ll be on the floor all the time. Can’t wait for that to happen. And if Barb and Natalie are there too, I’ll be gasping for breath. I know it. Vegas, huh? Doing some scouting for the Wana711 trip? Have fun!

    • Yeah, there’s nothing you could do to snake that would make me want to eat it.

      Sad but true, but I do talk like this in real life.; ) I hope, hope, hope we can all get together soon! I don’t care if it’s in Vegas or somewhere else, I just want to meet all you fabulous women and laugh until we cry. And yeah, I am kind of scouting for a WANA trip here… I’ve got some good ideas already!

  2. Beer battered snake. Sounds like you should be in the back swamps of Mississippi.

    But seriously, I need some of those contestants from Iron Chef cooking in my kitchen! It would love to have someone who knew what they were doing use it. 😀

    And I am so on the same page with you where Orlando Bloom is concerned – yes please.

    As always, I loved the style in which you delivered your fabulous recap. Hope you had a blast in Vegas and come home with money in your wallet.

    • I would looooooove to have a professional chef come to my house and teach me something! If it was Curtis Stone, even better. He’s kind of super yummy.
      They make everything look so pretty. My daughter will ‘plate’ our food and it’s gorgeous! I don’t have the time or inclination to do that, but wouldn’t mind someone else making my food look pretty.

      Vegas is expensive! I don’t gamble, so the only money I’ve lost is what I spent at the stores in Ceasar’s. And even that is WAY less than I could have. La Perla lingerie on sale ~ $400. Seriously? For a slinky little thing? I stuck to practical things like a glittery purse from Guess. ; )

  3. I’ve always thought that every dish tastes better with chocolate…but malted milk balls with FISH?! Okay, now I’m curious. (Poor hubby never knows WHAT he’s going to get… ;))

    Agrodulce. I like it. Agrodulce Chicken. I may not cook like a gourmet, but I can sound like one! Man…trashy TV has some treasures, doesn’t it? Thanks, Tameri! Hope you’re having a great trip.

    • Hey August, thanks for swinging on by! Yeah, malted milk balls on a good day are still yuk, but she was amazing with what she pulled off. If you do make fish with them, let me know how it goes! Your Hubby is awesome for being your tester!

      I love that agrodulce, too. It just sounds so international and suave. What’s for dinner? Chicken agrodulce. Ah, I’ve got the best wife ever. Yeah, I like the way that sounds!

      Vegas was a blast, but I’m glad to be home with my husband and pups and sleep in my own bed. : )

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