Trashy TV Recap! Top Chef, America’s Next Top Model, Iron Chef… who went home, who stayed?

Well, after taking a week off and spending some time with family, I feel like it’s been forever since we dished about TV.

Here’s what’s happened since our last visit ~

Knights of Mayhem turned out to be a big snorefest of spoiled men whining about each other. I couldn’t even get through the second show. Too bad, since I loved the concept.

Chris March made outrageous outfits on Mad Fashion, but since it’s basically the same thing each week and I can never find pictures for you, he’s out.

That leaves us with…

The Next Iron Chef Super Chefs

Wow. Okay, just wow. Something I thought couldn’t happen did. I’ll get to that, but first we need to talk about the Chairman’s Challenge.

The chefs were taken to Grand Central Station and told to tell a story with food. They chose iconic locations in New York and had to somehow translate a place into something edible. I don’t know about you, but dang! These chefs are creative. Brooklyn Bridge? I’d make something with graham crackers and blue icing for water. I know, I totally suck as a super chef. I’m over it.

Not only did all the chefs step up and make incredible food – with only the ingredients they could find in the station – but they all had cool stories to go with their food.

Poor Chef Alex! She spilled her food into a big basin of water. Yikes. You’d think she would be finished, but nope. That girl is resilient! She scrambled together more food and made a decent dish. Not the judges favorite, but not their least favorite either.

So, who did the judges like this week? Anne Burrell and Mike Chiarello. Both had good food and a great story. Anne took the win with her cornish game hens that represented the pigeons of Central Park. Clever, Anne!

The bottom two chefs were Marcus Samuelsson and Elizabeth Falkner. They cooked good food, but their stories were what set them apart from the others. The judges thought their dish and stories just didn’t deliver like they should. Whatever! These are two of my favorite chefs and now they have to battle it out? I want a do-over!

Dang. This is not going to be a happy ending for me.

The chefs had to battle with bagels. Bagels? I don’t know about you, but I’d slap some peanut butter and honey on them and call it a day. No, maybe I’d get all fancy and put a bit of avocado and some cream cheese with red onion and tomato. Seriously, that’s as creative as I get.

These guys? They’re making gaspacho and bagel flavored ice cream. You read that right ~ toasted bagel flavored ice cream. I can only imagine how it tasted and I’m thinking, ‘Ewww!’, but the judges liked it. Go figure. I’ll take my fancy bagel, pleaseandthankyou.

Here’s where the disbelief comes into play. Chef Samuelsson vs. Chef Falkner, no brainer, right? It’s got to be Samuelsson because he’s a total badass and Falkner is a pastry chef for goodness’ sake! A. Pasty. Chef.

Arrrrgggghhhhhh! Chef Falkner beat Chef Samuelsson by the tiniest of margins, but SHE BEAT HIM! I want a do-over! Oh, I already said that. Sorry.

Falkner and Samuelsson were both my favorites, but when it came down to it, I really wanted Samuelsson to win. Really. Bad.

Look at this poor guy’s face. He can’t believe it either. He’s like, Seriously, I didn’t win?

I know, Marcus! I feel terrible as well.

Guess that bagel ice cream was better than either of us thought.

Darn.

I’ve still got two favorites in the race, so we’ll hope one of them wins. Until then, it’s anyone’s game!

Continuing on with cooking, we have Top Chef. I don’t know about you, but I’m loving the Last Chance Kitchen! The eliminated chef has a chance to re-enter the competition at some point, but get this, the other chefs don’t know anything about it! Won’t they be surprised when one of the chefs come back. Oooooh, I can’t wait!

So far, Keith has won the challenges in the LCK, we’ll see if he stays after tonight’s elimination. Mwuhahahaaha!

Back to the chefs who aren’t eliminated. Yet.

They are told to pack up because they are moving out to Dallas. Whoohooo! They all pile in their car, which I refuse to remember the name of because these dumb placement ads in the show drive me nuts. I don’t care about the car!

At some point the chefs are stopped by a Highway Patrol Officer, because I guess in Texas they have nothing better to do than sit around at a roadblock on a deserted road and hassle chefs. Go figure.

Oh, wait! It’s really a challenge. Yeah, totally saw that one coming.

The chefs have to cook a meal using only ingredients from a survival pack. Chef John Besh (one of my favorites from Top Chef Masters) is on hand to help judge. He’s super sweet and kind of cute. What do you think?

 

You totally agree, admit it. Even you in the back pretending not to pay attention. Look at those teeth! Those eyes!

Ahem, back to the cheftestants. Yes, that’s what they are really called and no matter how many times my husband laughs at me for writing that, it won’t change that fact.

Once again I’m impressed with what these chefs create with the foulest of ingredients. Vienna sausages? Really?

Yep. Lindsey won the Quickfire Challenge making some sort of sandwich out of saltines and a soup made with Vienna sausages. Crazy!

On to the Elimination Challenge!

The chefs have to prepare an appetizer, entree, and dessert for a ‘Progressive’ dinner party. Didn’t they do those a lot in the 70’s? I didn’t realize people still had progressive dinner parties. Well, butter my buns and call me a biscuit!

The hosts are all fancy schmancy rich people who intimidate some of the chefs. Well, yeah. They have more dislikes than likes and are a little bit high maintenance. Good luck, chefs!

At least they aren’t in teams, per se. They are assigned one of the three components of the meal, but it’s every chef for themselves. Which causes some friction in the kitchen when a few chefs don’t want to share their space. Beverly, are you listening? You can’t always hog the meat, counter, burners, etc. It’s going to catch up to you at some point. Karma, baby!

Interestingly enough, two dessert people and two appetizer chefs are at the top this week. No entree chefs stepped up enough to win. And everyone whined about dessert. Hmmm.

This is terrible, but I don’t remember who won! I just recall Gail Simmons’ cleavage. Dang, girl! I want that bra. Seriously. Ugh! All the pics online are of her back. You’ll just have to trust me on this. It was stunning.

Oh, yeah, Paul won with Brussels Sprouts! No, really he did. Vienna earlier and Brussels now? I sense a theme here…

The bottom four were all guys, which didn’t bother me so much, but Chris and Chuy were in the group and they are two of my favorites. Not Chris Jones, he bugs me and I wouldn’t mind if he went home, but Chris Crary. The super cutie that I’m smitten with.

It comes down to Chuy’s dish being the worst, so he’s sent packing. Bummer! I like that little guy. He’s scrappy.

Off to Last Chance Kitchen with you, Chuy!

It’s the little guy vs. the big bear, Keith.

They have to battle it out over beef. Long story short, Keith loses and Chuy stays to cook another day. I love that super-secret Last Chance Kitchen!!

It’s a week of disappointment for me and Reality TV.

On America’s Next Top Model the girls have to make a video motion editorial thing for Tyra. Hey! Tyra Banks wrote a book about models. What a huge gigantic surprise. It’s fiction, though, so in case you thought you’d get all the dirt on Naomi Campbell, you’ll be disappointed.

But she has the girls make this bizarre video for her book. Maybe a trailer kind of thing? I don’t know. I’m still in shock that Tyra wrote a book.

Oh, wait! I forgot to tell you about a little challenge the girls had. Franco Sozzani of Italian Vogue wanted the girls to take pictures of Crete and to blog about their time on the island, somehow linking it back to fashion. What a fun challenge!

Of course Lisa thinks she has the greatest pics and blog, but it turns out that Angelea did. Oh, snap!! Lisa’s a little pissed about it. Sorry, girlfriend.

Back to the video thing.

Tyra dresses the girls in the crazy costumes and has them run all over the place, which is fine, but then she brings in this guy…

Tyson Beckford.

Um, hello my sweet Tyson!

Have I ever told you that I have pictures of him (mostly naked) by my desk? Yep. He’s a ‘character reference’ for Baehlon, a knight in my fantasy novel.

He’s yummy.

So, the girls get to run around and play with Tyson. I’m a little jealous.

For judging they use the first half of the video and it’s clear Angelea and Lisa are safe this week. That means it’s between Allison and Laura.

Yep, you guessed it, Laura goes home. Noooooo! My sweet Laura is bounced from the competition. Darn it all.

I just love her spunk and positive spirit and I’ll miss her.

Next week is the finale and in the teaser trailer Nigel says someone is disqualified. Ooooh, intriguing! I wonder who it will be? Any guesses?

Until next week, keep it trashy!

tameri…

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20 thoughts on “Trashy TV Recap! Top Chef, America’s Next Top Model, Iron Chef… who went home, who stayed?

  1. Ok….nice try on the “he’s a ‘character reference” thing. Whatever. We know you just want a picture of that fine, fine, FINE piece of man to enjoy all day long. LOL!!!
    I couldn’t BELIEVE the sent Laura home…sniff…I wanted her to win. Not only is she a fantastic person, I actually thought she has a ton of potential. I like Lisa but find she’s a bit too out there…Angelea again, gorgeous but not refined enough and is way too fragile and erupting (and I hate how she always goes on like a VICTIM with this whole “I’ve worked harder and been through worse than anyone here…” deal – like at this point, who cares?!??!). I like Allison but I don’t see her doing anything more than straight modeling.
    Now I don’t know who I want to win….sniff…we’ll see! Who do you predict?!?!??! 🙂

    • Who do you think is going to be disqualified??? I can’t wait for the finale!

      Seriously, Tyson is a character reference. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I have this whole wall of hunky guys and only one girl – Liv Tyler. Hmmm. no wonder David doesn’t buy the story either!

      I’m going for Angelea. Yeah, she’s playing the victim thing, but she’s better than Lisa or Allison. I’m just so over Lisa! And you’re right about Allison, she won’t really do much more. Except, perhaps, make another mopey song???

  2. I thought the video on ANTM was just disturbing. Very, very odd. I think it would have been better if Tyson just stood there for a few minutes. Who needs gladiators in flowing yellow dresses and mohawks?

  3. There is another Iron Chef competition? This is what happens when my TV viewing queue gets to large. Probably for the best. Anything on the Food Network is my downfall, and will likely lead to me being fat and broke. (But deliciously so)

      • I feel your pain, Amber! Between you and Tiffany, I keep adding things to my DVR and then have no time to watch them!

        I think Food Network is decidedly evil that way. They show us all these super great chefs who cook amazing meals and then get us to want to try them at home. But none of them are all that healthy! I mean, butter is Paula Dean’s calling card. Seriously. She brings you a pound of butter when she visits. ; )

  4. “Well, butter my buns and call me a biscuit!” ??? – Where do you come up with these sayings? That was definitely a laugh-out-loud moment for me this morning! Great recaps and thanks again for all the tv time you save me.
    p.s. With “character reference” pecs … oops, I mean, pics … like that one around, how do you ever advance your word count?

    • I actually got that quote from my son. He made it up, I think. I don’t know where he gets it, really. ; )

      So glad I can save you time! I manage to get my word count done somehow, but those cute boys are distracting. Especially Orlando. His eyes mesmerize me…

  5. I just had a feeling Marcus wasn’t going to last. It wasn’t his first time in the bottom. I keep watching all these chefs and imagining them in Kitchen Stadium, doing an Iron Chef meal. The only ones I can see being successful are Burrell and Chiarello. Faulkner doesn’t have enough personality, Jeffrey is too fussy, and Alex gets too nervous. Altho, I liked that she rallied after dumping all her food in the water. I would’ve sat down and cried instead.

    I was sad to see Chuy go, but now he’s got a chance (for the moment) to get back in, so that’s cool. After all these years of Top Chef, any time Padma shows up and says the chefs are going on any kind of outing, plan to cook, baby. There are no safe trips to the movies, to a theater, to the next city.

    Just so you’re in the loop: In Project Accessory world, the judges never agree on the top looks, although they always agree on the bottom ones. Molly Sims, in the Heidi Klum role, doesn’t quite have the personality for it. Maybe she needs an accent. Of the contestants, they’ve already sent the two neurotics home. Now they’re left with two camps: 1) the elegant, couture-ish graceful designers, and 2) guys who used to be mechanics and then decided to weld bracelets instead. Next week proves to be fun, as one of the guys breaks out the sander and fills the entire workroom with dust. Oh, and the chick filling in the Tim Gunn role? She has an interesting speech impediment (or a crazy accent, not sure), and she’s mean.

    • Thanks for the Project Accessory update! I still haven’t caught it while trolling the channels. Dang it. I did see the Art show, Next Great Artist? It was okay, but I felt bad for the girl who cried. She does not have a pretty cry like Demi Moore in Ghost. Poor dear.

      I’ll have to find Project Accessory and record next week. That sounds like a scream ~ welding bracelets!

      Wasn’t Chuy so cute next to Keith? He’s fun sized.

      Glad to see you around the olde blogge!

  6. I was rooting for Elizabeth Faulkner. I know the other chefs think she’s an easy target because her emphasis is pastry. I think Alex is getting some karmic payback for her snarky remarks on “Chopped”. 🙂

    Top Chef… not really seeing the level of talent from previous seasons.

    • Jennifer, thank you so much for catching my mistake! I called Chef Falkner Susan (that was the name of my Lit Prof in college, I guess she’s still in my head).

      Haha! You might be right about Alex. She’s pretty brutal on Chopped, I wonder how she feels being on the other side of the table. And yeah, I completely agree about Top Chef. They aren’t inspiring me at all. Very lackluster.

      What other shows do you watch? Anything super fun I’m missing?

  7. Very cute. I’ve been morning the end of Junior Masterchef here in Australia. Those kids make me crazy, they’re so incredibly talented AND adorable, it kills me. On the other hand, Mr B who normally loves my cooking has been known to watch an episode and say “Why can’t you make me something like that? He’s only eight and he can do it!” so perhaps I’m glad it’s all over.

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