Happy New Year! My wish for you is that each day of 2012 is filled with Light and Love and Laughter. Whether that comes from your family, your goldfish, or yourself, may this year be way more superfabulous than last year.
To start the New Year off right, let’s get down to business…
Just how much of a badass was I? Well, I’m going to say I wasn’t totally a badass, but I certainly had a Wild Child inside of me!
1. Got arrested for stealing candy from a kid.
Yes! When I was 16, my BFF thought it would be cool to take a kid’s Halloween candy. In the ensuing chaos, I drove away from the scene (with my BFF and her loot), which made it a felony of grand theft. The only reason we didn’t get thrown in jail is that the judge compared us to rapists and murderers and my mom got super pissed at him. We ended up being charged with petty theft and had to do 10 days of community service. It totally sucked and I still get that dip in my tummy thinking of it.
2. Joyrode in a cop car through downtown Los Angeles at one in the morning.
Oh, my god NO! So many of you thought I actually did this. Are you kidding me? I tried to stay as far away from the police as possible. After that candy incident, the threat of jail was enough to keep me away from stupid pranks.
3. Got chased by park officials at two in the morning for sliding down the grass on ice blocks.
Totally! Um, you can buy large blocks of ice in Southern California. Sheesh, just because we don’t get snow doesn’t mean we can’t make ice. We’d get a huge block of ice, sit on it, and slide down this grassy mountain in Presidio Park near Old Town. It was loads of fun, even more so if you happened to be a little intoxicated, *cough, cough* which I am in no way admitting to being.
4. Dated the bassist for a punk rock band.
Yep! He’s going to feature in an upcoming blog post, so I’ll keep him secret for now.
5. Tattooed a vampire bat somewhere on my body.
Well done, you that guessed yes! It was one of my favorite tattoos, but alas all of my tattoos are gone now. I’ve had then removed for so many reasons, that just might have to be another blog post as well. Suffice it to say, at one time I had 9 or 10 tattoos. And 14 ear piercings, shocking pink hair, and a nose ring. I was all punk rock in my early 20’s.
6. Have been married four times.
Nope! Only three. David is my third and final husband. For those of you who are thinking what I think you’re thinking, no I didn’t kill my first two husbands. As far as I know, they are living very happy lives with families and mortgages, and stuff like that. Well, except for one. No one really knows what he’s doing, but he has been seen since we split.
7. Worked for a phone sex company.
Oh, yeah! When I was 21 and lived in Los Angeles, I needed extra cash, so I got a part time job in one of those 1-800-slut phone sex places. It was this nondescript building in Santa Monica and I worked there for all of 38 minutes. After the initial 10 minutes of ‘training’, they let me listen in on a phone call. I couldn’t stop laughing at the ludicrousness of the situation, so they let me go. Or I quit, not sure which.
8. Discussed the benefits of nose rings with Bruce Willis.
Yeppers! Since the whole phone sex thing didn’t work out, I found part time work as an extra on TV shows. I was in one of the final 8 episodes of Moonlighting and hung out with Bruce Willis on the set. He was super cool and I totally would’ve dated him if he’d asked. This was way before Demi, so I think I had a chance. I think he was too shy to ask.
Cybil Shepherd, by the way, was a complete meanie pants about nose ring and kept telling the director to make me move away from them. So, in the episode you can see my hair, my earring, my hand, and the back of my dress, but no facial shots of me and my dreaded nose ring. It was a diamond, get over yourself, Cybil! To this day, I refuse to watch anything with her in it, but I will watch all of Bruce’s work.
9. Kissed a girl and liked it.
Ohmygosh! I can’t believe how many of you thought I’d do this. Nope, never have and don’t think I ever will. That is just one road I never bothered to travel.
10. In college, turned in the same paper to two different teachers.
Oh, heck yes! I was pregnant and tired and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Fortunately, it was in different semesters, but the funny thing is, I got a ‘B’ the first time around, did nothing to the paper to revise or clean up, and got a ‘D’ the second time. Huh. The Professor who gave me the ‘D’ did me a huge favor ~ she told me why the paper sucked. That was the first time I ever had an honest critique and I learned the value of getting feedback that can help me improve. Sure, it hurt my ego, but when I’m editing, I still think of that professor and her advice.
Thanks again to everyone who commented and those who read the blog, but kept in the shadows. You know who you are, you there in the back trying to duck your head behind that kid with the huge curly hair, we see you.
Who will take up the naughty or nice challenge now? Angela Peart? Lesann Berry? Diana Murdock? Come on gals, it’s loads of fun!