When Life Kicks Your A**, Find A Smile

Image via 123rf.com

Image via 123rf.com

I had a different post planned for today, but then my friend Chastity asked me to write up a quick quest post for her blog and it made me take a step back and think about my life for a moment.

Chastity is hostingย What Makes You Smile on her blog and she’s inviting other authors to send in a list of 10 things that make them happy or smile. Easy, right?

Well, yeah, except life’s been kicking my ass lately and I wasn’t sure I could come up with anything that made me smile. But hey, I figured at the very least, it would give me a chance to reflect on those little things that I take for granted. And that’s exactly what I did.

*The list was supposed to be up today, but she’s an erotic romance author and all about the tease and suspense, so you’ve got to wait until tomorrow to read it. Don’t worry, I’ll have a special link just for you, but be warned, her site is 18 and older to enter. Va-va-voom!*

533806_552681448097041_1418948813_nWhat’s been kicking my ass lately? Seems that back in February I caught a nasty virus that made it feel like I was on the Mad Hatter’s Tea Cup ride at Disneyland 24 hours a day. So. Not. Fun. I was dizzy, nauseous, it felt like my brain was on fire, and the worst part of it all? I thought it was just a really bad hangover from the SCWC conference! True story. Then the next week I went out to dinner with my WANA sistas and I was sick for another week! I began to think I was allergic to alcohol.

It sucked. Big time.

I finally dragged myself to the doctor and then to a neurologist, got lots of tests done, had blood drawn (lots of it), found out I’m not allergic to alcohol. Yay! I just can’t have any for a while. Boo!

Turns out, what’s making me sick is probably a combination of the nasty virus (which made my white blood cell count sky rocket), me getting older (hooray for peri-menopause), allergies (who knew dust mites could be so vicious?), and migraines. A perfect storm of medical crap culminating in mass suckage.

I had good days ~ yay! I edited three whole chapters and made dinner.

And bad days ~ Ohmyfreakinggod, I am going to die of a super rare brain eating disease that only I have and no one will know because no one loves me and I will die alone in my old disgusting yoga pants because I haven’t done laundry in a week because I suck and can’t focus from this stupid fucking brain eating disease that’s killing me!

*** Just so you know, I seriously doubt it’s a brain eating disease.

As of today, my white blood cells are normal. I have another appointment with the neurologist in a few weeks to do a brain scan (we’ll see about that brain eating disease once and for all. Huzzah!). And we’ll also figure out what’s going on with a few other things that are bugging me, but for now, I can focus better and I’m having more good days than bad days. Which is a win if you ask me!

Still, my brush with a possible brain eating disease and my own mortality made me realize what’s really important in my life. My husband. My kids. My friends. Laughing. Oh, yes, laughing!

Last week I went to tea with my gal pal Gayle and we laughed so hard my sides ached. Some times I’ll send goofy texts to my friends or they’ll send me silly things that make me giggle.

I treasure those moments. My advice to you? Don’t be afraid to be a goofball! Laugh at yourself. Don’t waste another second on someone that doesn’t make you smile. You deserve better. Laugh often and with much gusto.

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40 thoughts on “When Life Kicks Your A**, Find A Smile

  1. Here’s what you should know above all else from me – I LOVE laughing with you!!! Yes, I’ll use more than one exclamation point, dammit. I love that we say something that makes one of us laugh and then the other one starts laughing and soon we’re just laughing at the fact that we’re laughing. It’s like that scene in Mary Poppins – I expect to be on the ceiling after a while! Keep laughing, and keep getting better (health wise… in other respects, you’re perfect). If need be, I’ll text/call/message you once a day just to say or do something goofballish and make you laugh. Doctors orders, right?

    • I know and that’s why I LOVE you so much! You always make me laugh and that’s a good thing. Use as many exclamation points as you want, MSG isn’t here and even if he was, fuck him. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Don’t tell him I said that, okay?

      All you have to text me is something like, Snoopy says ‘forever’ and I’d be rolling on the floor. Seriously, I’m laughing right now! Oh, geez, I really am. Such. A. Geek.

  2. The biggest of big hugs! I get this more than you know.

    Here’s hoping there’s a lot of laughter coming your way. (Perhaps I need to write something funny on the blog soon, just for you! ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

    • I’ll take your biggest of big hugs and wrap it all around me and you! I know you get this, that’s why I’m wrapping you up in our hug, too.

      Let’s both write something funny on our blogs. Heck, all you have to do is post #instacute pics of your kid. He always makes me giggle. I was showing him off to some of my friends over the weekend. There were lots of ‘ooohs’ and ‘aaah’s going on. He’s such a little man now!

  3. Oh buddy, I’m so sorry you’re so under the weather.
    I get it…some days you just need to laugh and I’m with ya that friends who can make you laugh are worth their weight in gold!!

    Keep smiling, darlin’ and rest up!
    Atlanta is coming…

    • Thanks Elena. Yep, yep, yep. I will and I am. And I cannot WAIT for Atlanta! Seriously, I have that date circled on my calendar and I’m counting down the days until I fly out. We get to meet in person and then I’ll give you a ginormous hug!

  4. I know all about major life suckage, I’m just sadly not at liberty to broadcast what’s going on (since it’s my family, and not me, being directly affected). So, I feel you!

    There’s always a laugh to be found, though, even in the most depressing situations.

    • Thanks, Rebekah! Being able to find those little nuggets of humor among the rubble is always a joy for me. I’m so glad you can understand. And I totally understand what you mean about life suckage and what you can and can’t broadcast. A family is a curious thing, is it not? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Well dang, I hate that you’ve been so sick. Not good! And I’m so glad you’re not allergic to alcohol. I mean, that would really suck. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Keep feeling better and keep laughing!

    • I know! Totally sucks, but you’d be so proud of me! It has given me the push I needed to go through my house and clean out the crap that I was emotionally holding onto ~ food, clothing, people, etc. Cherry Coke Zero, for one! Yep, gone. And I’m reading my Clean Eating books again and watching everything I put into my body. I’m still a bit gun-shy on the alcohol, but someday I’m sure Long Islands and I will be reacquainted… It’s been slow going, but I’m going to kick this thing’s ass right back!

      • Ginger is ALL SMILES!!! I’m pretty darn clean/paleo in my eating. I save that 5% for my wine (OKAY — 10%) and movie popcorn. Girl’s gotta live! Hang in there!

  6. Tameri, I feel your frustrations, but you’re onto something by concentrating on the things that are important. It actually sounds a lot like my DH this past year, starting with a sprained finger, culminating in a nasty virus, with lots of ‘bad luck’ in between. Keep your fingers crossed we’re on the uphill swing. So yes, I feel your frustrations and I’m sending lots of good vibes your way. Kudos for taking them one step at a time.

    • Oh no, Nancy! A sprained finger? Sounds like a lot of bad luck ~ and you’re still on the boat, right? Yikes. Well, I’ll be keeping my finger’s crossed for you and sending tons of good vibes for your husband. You’ve got to find the humor in it, or you just might end up crying every day, right? There has to be a good book in your husband’s story. I hope someday I’ll get to read about your adventures! Thanks for the good wishes, my friend.

  7. Tameri – I’d tell you to hang in there but sometimes it’s all we can do to hang on, or at least that’s what I’ve discovered since Oct. Yep, you are so right, it sucks big time. One of the greatest gifts I’ve received while I’ve been more or less down and out is the friends that have stopped by and we get into those silly conversations where we laugh. It doesn’t matter the subject or that the house isn’t spotless or that I haven’t felt like putting on my make-up or heaven forbid, some days I haven’t had a shower (I’ve been too dizzy and nauseous), the friendship and laughter is genuine. Take baby steps in getting to the bottom of what is going on in your body and listen to it. My laundry room has crawled into the hallway more than once since this last surgery and I discovered it wasn’t the end of the world. Who would have thought?

    • I loved reading this, Sheri. I was at the eye doctor and laughing out loud in the waiting room! It’s so true. Okay, so when I said I hadn’t done laundry in a week, it was more like three, but I didn’t want to sound too crazy. I just wish we lived closer together so we could laugh our dizzy butts off all day. What a hoot that would be. Hold those friends tight because they are more dear than the most precious of gems. That’s what I’ve learned. All the ‘stuff’ I have, it’s meaningless to me. The people in my life are what make me rich.

  8. If I’d said something about having a brain-eating disease, someone undoubtedly would have said it’s too late – the disease would die of malnutrition. Anyhow, I hope you’re all better now.

    • Oh, stop it! I’m just confused why the little bugger would pick my brain and not one like yours! Mine’s all full of fluff and glitter, after all. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      I’m getting there. Not all better, but each day is a bit clearer and that’s a good thing. Will I get to meet you at DFWCon? I sure hope so.

  9. Every time I read your posts I think, are we related? Maybe knew each other from another time? That brain eating thing infiltrated my world too. So sorry you are dealing with it! I hope all goes well with your scan. Last week I posted about trying to stay positive–and said I was combating the pessimism via taking a photo of something that made me smile each day and posting on Instagram (or Twitter/FB). And laughter is good, the best medicine imo. ๐Ÿ™‚ HUGS!

    • I know! What? You had the brain eating disease, too? I’m SO sorry. I thought I commented on that post. (I blame the dizziness/braineatingdisease) I love the idea of taking a pic each day of something that makes you smile. Kind of reminds me of the gratitude pics I took last year. They really are the simple moments that matter most, aren’t they? I hope all is well with you, my sister that I never knew about. Once we get all our tests and stuff, we should compare notes. The more I tell people, the more this seems to be a common thing ~ and here I thought I was the only one! Who knew. Hugs, my sweet friend.

  10. Sorry to hear you haven’t been feeling the best. Tameri, I always picture you as a smiling, happy woman. Your posts are always cheerful, your words always kind.
    And thank God you’re not allergic to alcohol. That would have been terrible. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m smiling, but really relieved for you.
    I’m going for afternoon tea in London this coming week – my first time ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • I pretty much am a smiling, happy woman! Just not when something’s eating my brain, and good thing that doesn’t happen all that often. ๐Ÿ™‚ Oh, man I am SO glad I’m not allergic to alcohol. I couldn’t imagine visiting you and NOT being able to drink a Guinness! I mean, seriously, that would suck more than the brain eating thing.

      Afternoon tea in London! Where? The Ritz? That’s going to be so much fun! Take loads of pictures. I miss London so much. How long will you be there, just for the day? Who are you going with? I want all the details!!

      • I’ll say a few prayers for you x
        A place called Sketch, very fancy apparently. ๐Ÿ™‚ Going for the weekend, it’s only an hour’s flight. I’ll take lots of pics, especially of the tea!

  11. Awww, Tameri! I had no idea you were feeling so horrible! I mean, I knew you had a virus or whatnot but didn’t know it lingered forever and sucked your brain cells out! *shudder* You always make me giggle, even when you aren’t feeling well. {{HUGS}}

    And you even tried to cheer ME up! In the middle of a brain eating disease. You are the WOMAN, hear you roar!

    Seriously hope it all gets sorted out soon and you have ALL shiny, good days.

    • Guess what? In three weeks, we get to HANG OUT! And… I get to text you totally inappropriate things. I’m so totally excited I’m almost peeing myself.

      Yeah, well, I’m not much about telling people sucky things about myself. I’d rather be all sparkly all the time. Plus, I was kind of hoping it would just go away. ๐Ÿ™‚ It might not be gone for DFWCon, so I probably still can’t drink, but I’m realizing that I’m pretty much crazy without alcohol, too. Lucky you!

      By the way, my dog has really bad gas. For real.

    • Yay for laughter! I will, Brickhousechick, I will. It’s worked for me so far, and it’s a good thing my husband is an absolute crack up, too. When ever I would get kind of freaked out, he’d be all stoic and yet funny about it, which made it all better. I don’t know why I felt I had to share that, but there you go! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  12. So glad someone finally granted permission to be a goofball, Tameri.

    It’s been exhausting to appear normal and sane and staid in blog comments.

    I know it’s no laughing matter — this brain sucking disease you have — but, your humor shined in your description. It’s exactly the type of over-the-top conversation I like to invent with my besties when life is kicking my ass.

    Get well! I feel a good blog-jacking coming on, and I need a posse of blog-jack buddies. You’re always game-on for those when you’re on your game.

    • Goofball away, my friend! I have know graced you with the ability and honor to be as big a goofball as you’d like! Oh god, being normal is WAY too exhausting. Seriously. I tried it once and sprained something.

      A blog-jacking posse, eh? Sounds like we need rabbits or something to ride in on, with little saddles and everything. I’m in!

      Did you see my comment on August’s post? You’ll be at DFWCon? I get to meet you? I don’t know if I can handle all this excitement, but I’m going to try! Oh, who the hell and I kidding? Of course I can handle it! Bring on Gloria and her blog jacking posse!!

      • SQUEEEE! Come hell or ten house showings, I will be at DFWCon. I can’t wait to meet you.

        Off now to check out your guest blog on Chastity’s site.

        Chastity. A word I like only when used as a name or in reference to underage girls.

  13. Sounds like you might have what I have – Menierre’s Disease. I was the same way after I got off a cruise ship. I felt hung over, dizzy, double vision, nauseas, vertigo. All I could do was lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. Any movement of my head started the room spinning. I thought I hadn’t gotten my land legs back yet. But after a couple of weeks, I had a brain MRI and was tested for MS. Turns out, it was Menierre’s Disease. Might not hurt to explore that a little. It’s an easy fix. Now, I take medicine (sea sick medicine of all things) a couple of times a week and only have symptoms on occasion. The first episode is the worst. I have to avoid any spinny kind of rides or dance movements, but I am so much better now.

    But, I’m not a doctor, so don’t take my word for it (obviously), but, seriously, check into it.

    I love being a goofball. It makes my husband crazy when I do silly stuff in public, but I so don’t care.

    I hope you get to feeling better soon so you can get back to being goofy.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    • Thanks Patricia! Menierre’s Disease was one of the first things batted around. It’s definitely on the short list, but thank you for mentioning it! Believe it or not, some of the vertigo is from my allergies to the dust mites. Weird, but true. I’m kind of excited for the brain scan (I guess it will be a MRI), and the spinal exam, too. It’s just been one fascinating discovery of how crazy a body can get after another. Just when you think you know what you’re capable of, you find out how far you can push yourself even more. I kind of like it.

      I’m so glad you were able to find a cause for your vertigo early on! It’s not a fun thing to have. Does this mean you can’t go on cruises anymore? I’m actually serious about that. I suppose it would mean all sea travel is out. Hmmm, something I might have to think about.

      • Oh heavens no. I cruise all the time. But – I use those Transderm patches. I never get on a boat without those wonderful patches. They work wonders, but that make you dehydrated.

        I can no longer go on any spinny rides or do more than 2 dance turns in a row. That part was the hardest because I was involved in about 8 different kinds of dance. Ballet and jazz are out completely. I have to be careful with tap on the turns. Most other kinds of dance I can modify and still perform, but I hated dropping my ballet and jazz classes.

        Hang in there my friend. Your body will adjust to whatever this annoying thing is.

        Patricia

      • I’ve had several MRIs…they are NOTHING to be excited about. They lack one very necessary thing…and that is an eject/panic button. I wouldn’t have cared if that damn thing shot me across the room and straight into the wall…when I wanted out, I wanted OUT. MRIs are major suckage. ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. Brain-eating disease? Oh good gracious no! You are much too lovable and vivacious. Thanks for making me — and others — laugh in the midst of your own personal health issues. So yes, I’m gonna have to come back tomorrow. Thanks for the TEASE!

  15. YAY! I’m so excited we can drink together again!

    LOL…like how that’s all I took from that?? ;p

    Well, now I know why I haven’t been receiving any inappropriate texts lately. I should really start thinking of my own and send them to you.

    On a serious note, not sure if I shared this with you before, but I can relate exactly to how you’ve been feeling about mortality and not knowing what the hell is going on with your body. In August of 2009, on a Friday – after 5pm – I got a call from my doctor with results from a chest x-ray. She left a message saying they’d found masses (as in plural) in my lungs, and I’d have to go in for more testing.

    Yeah. Spent the whole weekend thinking I was dying of lung cancer and wouldn’t get to see either of my girls grow up, walk down the aisle, hold my grandbabies. I still tear up when I think of it. Maddie was only a little over a year, then.

    Turns out I have a very common but little understood auto-immune disease. I’ll live, and most likely quite normally – though I have ups and downs. But the point of all of this is that I totally get you. And I know that like me, this will turn out to be no big deal and you will over come it.

    Tameri, you are one of the strongest, smartest, most wonderful women I’ve ever had the pleasure and fortune to meet and get to know. I truly love you and am always here for you.

    Now text me about farting, damn it!

    *MUAH*

  16. “Dont’ be afraid to be a goofball.” Yes! Great medicine, that goofiness can be. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for the inspiring post, Tameri. So sorry the globitis bug caught you, too! Behind us all, SOON.

  17. I’m so glad that Gayle was there to take you out and make you laugh when you were feeling down. I hate that you were feeling so yucky. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ No brain eating diseases. You have the good karma. You will get better than that. For sure! You have a beautiful way of taking your situation and finding the bright side. See why you’re soo amazing? Hugs!!!

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