DFW Writer’s Conference ~ Memorable Moments

This is where we spent our weekend. Not a bad gig, really. They totally spoiled us.

What an amazing weekend! It officially started last Friday with some shopping and sightseeing, but you’ll have to wait for that post because today is all about the conference.

The DFW Writer’s Conference is held in the quaint little town of Hurst, Texas where they talk with accents, decorate with cowboy boots, and call the ladies ‘ma’am’.

I’ll be honest, I am not a fan of the way they set up the schedule at DFWCon. Some workshops are an hour, some an hour and half. This left odd gaps in my schedule that I usually filled with hanging out with all the other awesome writers at the conference.

Of course, being social was my favorite part of the weekend, but I was there to learn, too. Of the five workshops I attended, one was a dud, two were stellar, and two were total rock stars.

David Corbett started off my conference experience getting me excited about characters. Best takeaway from his workshop? Your opponent has as much will or desire to destroy or undermine what your hero wants to achieve. Wow. I’d never really thought of my villain’s motivation like that. Kind of fascinating. His lecture spurned all sorts of ideas and thoughts for my antagonists that I’m excited to put on paper.

Kelly is ridiculously gorgeous and super sweet. Love her! She also made me realize that I should always wear lipstick. See how her face lights up and mine, well doesn’t? Yeah, lipstick. Always.

Kelly Simmon gave us some great marketing tips, but my favorite takeaway from her? When going to book signings, she reminded us that the people who come to the signing will have made an effort. It’s important that we make an effort, too. Take a little time to look good. As one of her authors once told her, “You will be photographed when you don’t know it. If you don’t take the time, you will look like butt.” No one wants to look like butt. Take the time. Kelly is the founder and owner of InkSlinger PR, a marketing company for authors.

Roni rockin’ the website workshop!

My absolute favorite workshop of the weekend was Roni Loren’s. It had so much goodness in it, I was scribbling notes the entire time. The topic? Creating a website readers will love. She walked us through her website and taught us things I didn’t know I didn’t know. Now I know! Roni’s one of those genuinely sweet people that once you meet her, you feel like you’ve known her your whole life. Go on and check out her website, while you’re there, take a browse at her books. They’re a little saucy, but so good! Best take away from Roni’s class? Everything! If I had to pick one thing? Use Spotify for playlists. That way, the artist gets paid each time a reader clicks through. Brilliant.

Of course, the weekend wasn’t all about the workshops! There was much mingling going on, as well as far too much laughing. I finally had the chance to meet tons of my online friends that I’ve been chatting with for years. I also, of course, made new friends.

The wigs, alas, stayed in the hotel room. There was some debate whether they were unprofessional and I am ashamed to admit, I caved to pressure and didn’t don my confection of pinkness. Next time, I’m rocking that damn wig no matter what anyone says!

One of the other cool things about DFWCon is the access to agents. They are everywhere! Even if you don’t have a set pitch time, you can just chat with the agents or editors in the hallways, at the cocktail party, etc. On Sunday, they had a Gong Show where query letters were read aloud (they’re kept anonymous) by this guy with a movie trailer voice. When an agent would normally stop reading, they would bang the gong. It was hilarious and enlightening. Only one query made it all the way through. Even though we were all laughing at the antics and goofiness of the show, it was a great learning process to get inside the minds of several agents.

That’s how the weekend ended! With a gong.

Here are a bunch of pictures to make you feel like you were there. Also, if you want a slightly shorter and much funnier recap, read Jess Witkins’s The DFWCon Stalkathon post here. Or, you can read Syndey Aalilyah’s My #DFWCon by the Numbers post here. She gives a quick and dirty breakdown of the weekend. I’m just way too wordy. I’ll work on that, promise.

Pictures!

The incredibly sweet and most handsome David Walker.

Diana Beebe and Sydney Aaliyah! I finally got to meet both of them.

Mesmerized by David Corbett’s lecture.

Gloria Richards is way too cute. Seriously.

The ever gorgeous duo of Jenny Hansen and Ingrid Shaffenburg.

My sweet Nigel and Jenny Hansen.

Nicole Grubner and the super cute boot decorations.

Nigel and his ladies.

My roomies Debra Kristi and Melinda Vanlone.

Tiffany White and Julie Glover.

If you have a minute, here’s a cool video of the groovy lights they had in the banquet room. I pretty much want this in my house now. My son added the music, he’s so cool.

Knights of Mayhem? Yes please! Trashy TV Recap.

So, I’m trolling the channels looking for something to watch when this commercial comes on… it shows hunky men on horseback wearing full armor and jousting! You heard me right, there is a new reality show about modern day jousting. Problem is, I don’t get National Geographic channel, but you can bet your biscuits I’m calling today to hook me up! The series starts Tuesday, I can’t wait.

Is it hot in here, or is it just the jousting? Sorry, back to our regularly scheduled shows…

This week on Top Chef the last group of chefs had to compete for their spot on the show. Four chefs from last week were in the stew room, stewing. Boy, were they tired of stewing, too.

Finally the last group enters the kitchen and is told to pick one ingredient from the table and make a fabulous dish with it. Okay, most of the chefs are happy with their choices, except for the girl who had to ‘rock, paper, scissors’ for hers and she lost, leaving her with oxtail. Eww. If you’re a fan of oxtail, my apologies if I’ve offended you, but ewww.

There’s a catch – each ingredient has a time allotted to it. So, if you got brussels sprouts, you have 20 minutes, but oxtail girl had 60. Seems fair enough to me.

On with the cooking!

After a lot of rushing around and complaining that Chef Tom is in the kitchen, wasting their valuable cooking time, the 20 minute group is set to serve.

I think all the 20 minute peeps were thrown out. On to the next group.

Poor Tom, he had to send home someone he knows personally. She’s a good chef, he says, but the dish she put in front of them was inferior and he knew she could do better, but he had to judge on just that dish.

Harsh.

Poor Chaz didn’t even get to plate his dish of risotto, so he’s booted.

The 60 minute peeps serve their dishes. Are you noticing a theme here? Not really much recapping going on, is there? That’s because the show was mildly lackluster during this part.

BUT, then it’s time for the stew room crew. By now there are 6 chefs left who have to cook again for the last 2 spots left on the show.

I don’t have clear favorites at this point and honestly, with the cook off last week and then this week, I really don’t remember who is on the show yet or not. This splitting them up is giving me a headache.

Right. So the last group has to cook whatever they want. This is harder than you’d think, apparently. Without a boundary, the chef’s minds can go anywhere.

OMG! Edward cuts his finger and totally bleeds everywhere. It’s gross, but he keeps his hand far from the food while the medic is trying to clean and bandage him. That’s pretty badass. I have my first favorite. Let’s hope Edward survives this round and is on the show.

What do you know? Edward cooks awesome, even with only one hand, and he’s in!

It comes down to Grayson (I love that name and am totally swiping it for a character) and this other girl. My friend Gayle is rooting for the other girl, but I like Grayson.

Grayson’s in! Yay! Now I have two favorites on the show. It’s so much more fun when you have someone to cheer for, don’t you think?

Okay, the chefs are all picked and now we know who will be on the show. Oh snap! There’s a sneaky bit at the end where they tell you the last two chefs booted will actually have a chance to reenter the competition.

I can almost hear Gayle doing her happy dance!

It’s called ‘Last Chance Kitchen’ and it’s going to be aired online each week after the show. Andrew and Janine are the two competing. I guess I’ll have to catch that each week because, like you, I want to know who’s coming back!

America’s Next Top Model took the girls to Greece this week. Dang, Greece is gorgeous! I must put that on my bucket list.

Immediately upon arriving (in TV time, that is. They could’ve been there a day and we wouldn’t know, but those girls sure did look fresh for having just been on an international flight), the girls were told they would give a short speech to some dignitaries on the island of Crete. They had to use a few Greek words and say why they were excited to be there. Um, okay. I get it. They are trying to get the girls to be more well-rounded as correspondents. Still, I think it’s weird.

Most of the girls do well in the challenge. Lisa looks like a streetwalker in a teeny tiny top and even smaller skirt. Seriously, it barely covered her bum. A few of the girls thought they were speaking Greek when really it was Spanish. Bano? Really Angelea?

I’ll bet no one saw this coming ~ Allison won the challenge! She was poised, used a ton of Greek words, and spoke about the mythos of Crete and Greece. Well done!

Finally! I’ve been waiting for this challenge all season and it’s finally here… an underwear shoot. Why am I so excited? Because Shannon has been so weird all season about not wearing underwear. She believes (and I think this is pretty cool on her part) that wearing underwear is something she should do only for her husband. That’s great, but don’t wear a bathing suit that actually shows more of you and say it’s okay. She’s done that several times over the season and it’s a case of semantics. They went to great lengths to pick underwear for Shannon that didn’t reveal anything and really did look like a swimsuit, but still she refused.

So, Shannon didn’t do the photo shoot. That doesn’t automatically mean she’s booted, bummer.

Poor Laura is super sick for the photo shoot, but she’s a trouper and doesn’t complain. For the shoot the girls had to be in a salad bowl with cucumbers, tomatoes, feta cheese and dressing. A typical Greek salad. Seriously? Eww. Then again, I bet their skin was super soft afterward!

Dominique wins the photo challenge ~ dang, she really did look good in that salad!

The bottom two are Laura (not my sweet Laura! She was sick, please let her stay!) and Shannon.

I was pretty much yelling at the TV at this point. If they sent Laura home, after she sucked it up and did what she could even being so sick, then I was going to be sooooo mad.

Whew! The judges sent home Shannon. Yay!

The competition is getting intense. Only five are left and I have no idea who will win.

And our last recap is Next Iron Chef Super Chefs

The chefs were sent to San Diego! Whoohooo! Let’s hear it for my hometown!

They went to Petco Park, which is where the Padres play. Nope, I’ve never been there, but if you look in the background at some of the tall buildings, that’s the convention center where I go to Comic-Con each year. It’s kind of like going to Petco Park. Yeah, not really.

The chefs have to make a fancy ball park meal with only the ingredients found at the park. Well, food certainly has changed at ballparks since I last went. Those chefs had amazing ingredients to choose from!

The chefs made fantastic dishes, but honestly, I was so distracted from the hideous outfit Alton Brown wore that it’s all a fuzzy memory right now. Really, how did he pick that outfit and why was he allowed in our fair city wearing it? That’s him on the right, checking his watch. I wish I could grab a pic of him front facing, but this was the best Foodnetwork gave me.

Right, so now it’s back to Iron Chef stadium for the winner.

What?

Alex wins!

She’s totally stunned and stoked that she doesn’t have to face off against another chef.

Who does?

My sweet Robert Irving and Michael Chiarello. Dang. I like both of them, so this isn’t going to end well for me.

The secret ingredient is: Peanuts!

Both chefs cook their hearts out and in the end it comes down to one teeny tiny flaw in Robert’s dish that sends him home. Dang. I really like him and will miss him.

All of the chefs are my favorites for this show, so each week will be difficult to watch. Ah, well, that’s they way it goes in Trashy TV Land!

Until next week, sweet friends.

What have you been watching?